Monday, May 23, 2011

A Year of Firsts

If you've ever had to grieve a loss, you may understand that the first year is the hardest. That first year, with all of its associations and seasons, marks the passage of time as healer. No matter what the loss--a pet, a job, a relationship, an addiction--there is that year of firsts you need to get through and heal through.

Grieving has no time line and you might not know when it ends. It just gets easier and you begin to feel lighter. The cycle completes itself.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Walking Backwards

Try this...as you are walking, stop in your tracks. Now, walk backwards. And don't look over your shoulder--that's cheating! Notice how this feels. Scary, isn't it? You might be afraid that you'll walk into someone or something, or even trip and fall. It feels odd and uncomfortable, doesn't it? Remember doing this as a precarious and precocious young child, along with not stepping on cracks and all manner of common childhood games and rituals?

Now, let's think about change: major life change. As I've talked about change in a former blog post (see Necessary Losses), I am reminded that making a major life change or shift feels just like walking backwards! At first I don't trust that I'll be safe and not bump into anything and hurt myself. There is definitely this strangeness about doing things differently because it feels out of my routine (to walk backwards). It's like writing with my non-dominant hand, or wearing a shirt backwards, or even taking an alternate route to a favorite well-known place.

Walking backwards as in making a major life change, involves trust. It means having faith that this change is exactly what is supposed to happen. It requires trusting that you are being guided along a path, even though you may not see where you are going. It's HUGE really. But just think: you finally get there and then you turn around...and you see the beauty of where you are.

I dare you to try walking backwards today--no, double dare! ;-))

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!

Today is Mother's Day, a day to celebrate our mothers, grandmothers and any special person who has mothered us. It's a day to celebrate Mother Nature. It's a day to give thanks and be grateful for that omnipresent universal mother who has birthed all life. We each owe our very existence to a mother, someone who brought us into the wonder that is the miracle of our life. Happy Mother's Day to YOU!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Kissing Frogs

Who couldn't help but notice the royal nuptials of William and Catherine this past weekend? It was a grand event that perhaps helped us forget about our own lives, if only for a few hours. It let some of us live vicariously as we watched the fairytale unfold around a story of love and hope, perhaps shedding a tear or two (buckets).

People get married every day (or not). Isn't every bride walking down that aisle, living her own fairytale of sorts? She has kissed her frog, made him a prince and dressed him up for the altar. For better, for worse, till death do they part (but usually not or not before they kill each other!).

What is it about weddings that makes us all soggy-eyed and emotional? Is it the splendor, the hope, the chance to live the dream that we are primed for as little girls? And why don't men grow up dreaming of getting married? Are we, as women, products of a socialization belonging to the culture of western womanhood? Or did the patriarchy invent marriage as a way to keep women busy prepping for life in the frog pond, hopping from one lily pad to the next in search of the elusive frog prince?

I think that we ultimately look to weddings as a source of inspiration, hopeful that those little tadpoles resulting from it are coming into a better place.