Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Set Your Intention for 2014!

What do you most wish for in 2014? Set your intention and let all your actions flow around what you want to attract into your life for the coming year. Be that intention. All the best to YOU for 2014!

Consider working with an Empowerment Coach to make progress on your goals and intentions. For a complimentary discovery session, call: 514.996.2414.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Stop Second-Guessing Yourself and Start Trusting Yourself!

There’s that doubting little voice again, the one that says “Are you sure?” It sneaks up and asks:
  • Do you really want to buy that? (You can always take it back)
  • Are you sure this is the right decision?
  • Is this the right timing for x to happen? 

It’s called the Second-Guesser! The Second-Guesser resides somewhere between our own knowing or inner truth and common sense. Have you ever made a decision or taken a course of action that you revisited--perhaps it was your Plan B as Plan A had fallen through. And you thought: "If only Plan A had worked out..."

Photo courtesy of Morguefile
What makes us second-guess ourselves? Lack of confidence, perfectionism, not wanting to make a mistake. Fear. So we take action and then we revisit that action. I often find myself second-guessing even simple decisions! How can we quell the Second-Guesser? What can we tell ourselves to be at peace with a decision? 

Ask yourself these questions as you revisit a decision:
  1. Did I make my decision with the most clarity of consciousness?
  2. Is this the best decision given the information available to me at the time?
  3. What does the outcome look like?

Now put it away. Stop doubting. Stop second-guessing. Start trusting. And start living!

Need help gaining clarity? Consider Empowerment Coaching—for a complimentary discovery session, call 514.996.2414.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

The Loudest Noise Comes from Knowing

Photo courtesy of Morguefile
How do you know? Like really KNOW? How much time do you spend wondering when you'll know something: the answer to a problem, what you're meant to do, be, have, or that right decision, that right path? And next thing you know, there it is--the knowing appears! You suddenly KNOW. And you didn't have to force, coerce or worry it to death. It just suddenly became clear. How did THAT happen?

What does knowing mean for you? How do you know that you KNOW something is right?

Want to know more? Empowerment coaching can help you surface your inner knowing. Call 514.996.2414 for a complimentary discovery session to learn more.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Coincidence or Miracle?

When something you've thought about happens, do you consider that a coincidence or a miracle? My adult son and I were having this very discussion recently regarding how when you think about something you'd like to attract and it comes to fruition. He'd had a flash earlier that week about possibly tutoring students, and two days later a tutoring opportunity arose. How does that happen? Is this a coincidence or a miracle? What do you call it then when you think about something you want and it manifests? Law of attraction comes to mind.

This process is indeed miraculous! I've experienced those flashes of thought, where an idea has passed through my mind and I do not linger on it. But I do notice it. I was full of questions for my son about setting an intention: What makes the difference between what one person asks for that comes and someone who doesn't put an intention out there? Is there a consciousness about asking or setting an intention? And what role does letting go play--do you put the intention out there and then let it go--like placing a message in a bottle and throwing it out to sea? How hard do we need to work at attracting what we want?

My son shared another insight with me: that you don't say directly and repetitively, "I want one thousand dollars." but rather, you set an intention for money then you simply let it go. That is TRUST, trust that the intention is setting in motion what you wish to attract.

So pay attention to the thoughts and the flashes, staying aware of the information coming in. Notice how these thoughts form your reality. When that reality occurs, specifically express gratitude for their appearance. And take nothing for granted! Imagine appreciating the miracle in a flash that brings a simple opportunity...what else might you harness and attract? The potential is unlimited! It truly is a miracle that we can create our reality, and we can create our reality to be about abundance.

What opportunities do you create in your life? What magic are YOU manifesting right now?

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Life Cycles and Seasons

Glen Bonnema's Fall Blaze
Change...the changing colors of fall leaves, the harvest, new routines. Although the fall represents a time of transition, the sloughing off of the old as summer fades into oblivion and we prepare for cold and darkness, it is the necessary part of a cycle of renewal.

We must experience that falling away of the old before we can embrace the new. So it is with the cycles and seasons of our lives. The old gives way to the new. Change is born of the death of something familiar. And out of loss comes renewal and rebirth.

Glen Bonnema's The Shimmer Calm

In the stillness, we can process what we need, prepare for what is to come and embrace the unfamiliar until it becomes known. This is how we live. This is how we make meaning of our life. This is how we evolve through the various cycles and seasons of our life.

What does fall mean to YOU?

Empowerment coaching and transition partnering can help you navigate the seasons and changes of your life. For a complimentary discovery session: 514.996.2414

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

BE Empowered!

A bamboo seed can take about five years to break through the soil. Once it does, the bamboo tree grows quickly, shooting up to 80 feet high. How are you similar to that seed, waiting below the surface? Ready to break through the barriers in your life, but you need help to remove them?

You are invited to learn HOW by exploring our online Personal and Professional Empowerment Series currently being offered by three certified coaches in collaboration with LEARN Quebec and i-Edit: http://www.e-xplorations.ca/?p=61

Visit E-xplorations Academy and be your best self moving forward!

For more information about this and empowerment coaching, contact me: 514.996.2414 or e-mail kelhowarth@yahoo.com

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Dream Catching

Close your eyes and imagine that it's already here--exactly what you want. See it, touch it, hear it, smell it, taste it. Yes, connect with all five of your senses and experience what you want through each one. Now go and act "As if." Act as if what you want to attract is already here. And trust...trust that with each new day, you are closer to achieving the prize. Be patient; meanwhile, use your sixth sense, intuition, to receive and decode the messages around timing and opportunity. You deserve to have what you want. You deserve abundance. Abundance is finding you...in that place and that space of believing, of worthiness.

What are you seeking, that if you let yourself, you'll achieve it in spades? Isn't it time?

Empowerment coaching can help you seek and find--all the answers within. Call for a complimentary discovery session: 514.996.2414

Sunday, September 8, 2013

The Joy Thief

Once upon a time there was a crown princess living in a beautiful castle surrounded by a moat. Although her every wish, whim and want were provided for, the princess felt lonely and unfulfilled. She had heard somewhere that kissing a frog could turn him into a prince. Ah, this would be just the thing to cure her loneliness and make her truly happy! thought the princess.

Photo courtesy of Morguefile
So the princess spent her long solitary days perched beside the moat, catching frogs and kissing them. One day, in a lip-lock with a particularly warty frog, a young man suddenly appeared at the princess's side. In her embarrassment she dropped the frog (He was ugly anyway). And the rest is history...Actually NOT! Ten years later the princess is no longer lonely, but she still has no happiness. She and her prince fight all the time. She's gained weight from eating too many frogs legs. She's not liking who she has become. The princess wonders how she came to be so unhappy. Surely things were better when she was alone in the castle.

The princess had been sold a bill of goods, one that many of us buy into: that someone, some thing or some circumstance will make us happy. When we get this thing...or go on that trip...or have that relationship, job, or if only the other person would change...all the "If onlys." We make people, places and things responsible for filling that void belonging uniquely to us to fill. We get angry, frustrated and resentful when our expectations for joy remain unmet. We are being controlled by the uncontrollable.

This recently dawned on me when I realized that a festering resentment I was harboring and that was stealing my joy, was not resulting from the person whose actions I could not control, but from the attitude in me that I could control. Perspective--try it--it actually changes things!

What robs your joy? Are you holding someone or some thing responsible for your joy?

Empowerment coaching can help you find and align with your joy. Call: 514.996.2414 for a complimentary discovery session.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Honoring Teachers

It's that time of the year when teachers head back into the trenches, the front line that is their classrooms. Not that the teachers ever really left, despite what most people think about long lazy summer days from the end of June to early September--two whole months to languish! NOT! according to this Upworthy graphic The Real Number of Hours Teachers Work.

We often hear about burnout amongst teachers. A recent discussion with an esteemed colleague drove that point home as we compared the myths surrounding work burnout with those about the post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) often suffered by soldiers. The reality is that burnout does exist for teachers, just like PTSD affects soldiers, and here are some signs to watch for according to the Mayo Clinic:
  1. Being overly critical and cynical
  2. Dragging yourself to work and having difficulty getting started
  3. Irritability with others
  4. Lack of energy and job satisfaction
  5. Feeling disillusioned about your job
  6. Turning to food, drugs or alcohol to salve
  7. Experiencing changes in sleep habits/appetite
  8. Physical conditions like headaches, backaches and unexplained aches

Teachers are givers...and the last ones they may give to are themselves. When we put ourselves last, we risk compromising essential self-care that makes us so effective in helping others, such as our learners, the precious young (and older) lives that we impact.

Let's honor the teachers and learning professionals who touch/have touched our lives as we ponder this Henry Adams quote: "A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops."

How has your life been touched by a teacher?

Empowerment coaching can help teachers! InfiniteU Coaching & Consulting is pleased to offer its Burnout Prevention Coaching Program for Learning Professionals. For more information call 514.996.2414.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Just ask for it

Photo courtesy of Morguefiles
You set a goal to attract something you want: a new car, a home, a trip, a job, a new career or even love. So how do you go about getting what you want? You set an intention. Then you let it go. Of course, you need to be active in your intention. How? Here are some steps:
  1. Just ask for what you want
  2. Visualize it
  3. Write it down
  4. Tell people
  5. Meditate - practice stillness for 10 minutes a day
  6. Be positive and optimistic
  7. Engage in dream-building activities - visit open houses, car lots, apply to jobs, put yourself out there to meet people
  8. Practice patience

And detach from the outcome. If you don't get that job, it may not be the right one for you. If that person you have your eye on doesn't appear interested, perhaps they are not the ONE. If it's taking time to manifest that new car or trip, the right one will show up when the time is right. Attracting is about bringing to you, health, goodness and well-being. Trust in that. You cannot force the law of attraction. What you wish for is coming.

Try being what you want. Try gratitude (for what you already have). And most of all, try attitude. It's all in our attitude--an attitude of patience, grace, love and being what we want to attract. The good comes...it always does. And in the meantime, live your life as if you already have what you want.

What are you intending to attract into YOUR life?

As Empowerment Coach, I can help you get clear on what you want to attract into your life. To learn more, contact me at 514.996.2414! Let's manifest your intention!

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Getting Back to Flow

Still exploring the topic of transition, let's look at what the journey through life or work transition might look like….

Water Bubble -Photo courtesy of Glen Bonnema
You're about to make a leap off what feels like a ledge, into the abyss of the unknown. You are at once exhilarated and excited, yet scared because you have no clue what awaits you. The unknown is a process, one of developing—the self, the situation and the self in relation to the situation and to others. The leap is slow; you feel airborne for some time, not even knowing when and where you will land. Balance is eventually restored, like the flow of water after a bubble bursts. And a new flow happens.

In the meantime, this tempestuous swirl of water, culminating in a bubble just waiting to burst represents what may be going on inside you as you journey through transition:
  • Self-questioning
  • An attachment to your comfort zone
  • Feeling stuck
  • Overwhelming feelings
  • Working out your healthy boundaries
  • Wanting to be there already and finding your balance

Sounds familiar? I've been in that space of going through a major life transition where I've harbored self-doubt and questioned myself and all that I knew to be true. At the same time, my attachment to my comfort zone, however uncomfortable, hence what precipitated making the change in the first place, had me often wanting to stick with the known. Sometimes I felt stuck because of my reticence, not able to move forward. I learned that I had to break it all down and take just one small step at a time.

The overwhelming feelings accompanying my transition were just that—feelings. I came to realize that I am not my feelings, that feelings don't make it so. Of course, there were new boundaries and limits to negotiate and old boundaries to renegotiate. People see you one way, then along comes change...you evolve. They may not accept what your change means for them. And lastly, the question "Are we there yet?" has you eager for it all to be done and over with. If only someone could wave a wand and there you are: in that new career/job, in/out of that relationship, moved, etc.

And suddenly you realize you're through your transition—you’ve moved from that place of discomfort and pain to NOW. You're intact, you've learned a few lessons along the way, and you're stronger for allowing yourself to grow through change. You are in flow.

What does YOUR trajectory through transition look like?

Ever consider working with a Transition Partner as you navigate the swirling waters of work/life transition? I'd love to accompany you along your journey! For a complimentary discovery session, call 514.996.2414.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Turning the Page

Don't you just love a good story? This quote, sent to me by my dear friend and fellow blogger, caught my attention because it reminds me about how we can stay stuck in our story and not move forward with the next chapter of our life.

There is a difference between grieving a loss and adjusting to the transition brought about by that loss, and staying mired in your loss and ultimately in your story. As Grief Counselor, Dawn Cruchet says: "Grief takes the time it takes." It took me two years to fully transition through a major life change resulting in many losses. Until last Fall I was clearly grieving the loss of everything I had held dear for 23 years of my life: couple, family, home, neighborhood, pets, friends...the loss list seemed endless despite how much I was gaining in making this radical change from unwell to well-being.

So how do we know when we're moving on with the next chapter of our life and not re-reading the last one? Here are two factors to consider:
  1. Fear - How is fear of a similar outcome keeping you stuck in the previous chapter of your story?
  2. Mistrust - How are lack of trust in yourself, in your abilities (to discern, to know what you need) and in a power greater than yourself, keeping you anchored in your story?
"What would you do if you weren't afraid?" asks Sheryl Sandberg in her book Lean In. Indeed what would you do? How will you move forward trusting? Artist/Songstress Tracy Chapman beautifully sums up the courage it takes to look inward and leap outward in her poetic song Change.

What does the next chapter of YOUR life look like?

Empowerment coaching/transition partnering can help you move from this chapter of your story to create the next beautiful chapter of your life. Contact me at 514.996.2414 for a complimentary discovery session.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Decisions, Decisions

Do you ever find yourself in that space where you just cannot decide? You have a decision to make, however large or small and you feel stuck. There's so much resistance, like trying to move through mud. You simply can't decide! Similar to being in a candy store and presented with a myriad of colors, shapes and tastes--they all appeal--yet you can only choose one! Sometimes making a decision feels this way. I've come to realize how perfectionism often gets in the way of deciding. Rather than deciding wrong, I don't decide at all. The problem is that perfectionism can result in losing out on opportunities.

What to do...? (But don't take too long to decide!)
  1. Ask yourself if the weight of not deciding is worth the stress you're experiencing
  2. Just let it go--decide not to decide
  3. Ask yourself "How important is it anyway?"
  4. Give yourself a deadline and decide by then--be accountable to someone else
  5. Just do it--take the action that you need to take without over-thinking or over-analyzing
  6. Realize that there are no wrong decisions; only opportunities for learning and growth
  7. Recognize that even perfection is imperfect and that we are all perfect in our imperfection (While you're deciding, say that fast ten times!)

What do you need to decide on, that if you do so right now, you will feel lighter for having made the decision? Who can hold you accountable?

Coaching can help you decide--I can help you to be accountable. Call 514-996-2414 to learn how!

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Are you stuck in your story?

We all have a story to tell--the tale that is the lens through which we view ourselves, our lives, our interactions with others and with the world around us. As a writer I love stories; they weave a colorful tapestry that creates the fabric of our lives. The thing about tapestry is that while we can view and appreciate it's vivid colors and texture, we are not part of the tapestry. And so it is with our stories.

Consider this common story: you divorce your spouse. There is a story to the divorce. In fact, there may be a whole life attached to the story. And there is certainly pain in the story. Is this the real story or does your story go back to before your spouse, perhaps to your early relationship with a parent?

Take the example of abandonment. Let's consider the reality that your parent gave you up for adoption or died when you were still a child. Certainly these are fundamental and profound losses. And as a child with a limited world view, the feelings might be anything from being unwanted and unloved, to being different. Perhaps you felt abandoned. How might your view of being abandoned by your parent, color the story of your current relationships--with your partner or others? Might a fear of being abandoned be the lens through which you view and experience your adult relationships?
As an adult you have the power of choice around this story. What positives might you acknowledge in order to move on from that part of your story anchoring you in the past? What shift in how you view your story can release you to fully live your present and not worry about your future? How was being adopted, in fact, a gain? You went to certain other parents who gave you different things, especially a home. You were wanted by someone. How did your parent's death make you stronger?

You are not your story. Stories are what we tell ourselves and others. As Chloe Madanes and Tony Robbins explain in their coaching video entitled Conscious Blaming, as we tell a story, it gets embellished and grows. Peoples' beliefs are based on their perceptions. And we behave according to our perceptions. So as our story gains momentum in the telling and retelling (even to only ourselves), if we are not challenged think differently, we risk becoming our story as we continue to behave according to our perceptions. And a story can become a fairy tale about fear. This is where we may get stuck in the weave of the tapestry and not move past our story to live a better, more fulfilling and meaningful life.

How might you be stuck in your story? What new thread can you weave into your story to shift your perception and live more meaningfully?

Working with an Empowerment Coach can help you get unstuck in your story and align with your true values. For a consultation, call: 1.514.996.2414

Friday, June 7, 2013

Letting Go of...

http://www.conversationsblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/let_go.jpgWhat do you need to let go of in order to attract more of…? This is a question I often ask my coaching clients. And in the wake of my last article about loss, I recognize the hugeness of this question. It asks you to accede to a loss. It may be letting go of a job that no longer fits, a relationship that no longer works or giving up possessions that clutter a living or work space.

Inherent in this question is the answer, “I fear letting go of…”  Change can be daunting because we don’t know what lies on the other side. We talked about loss equaling change, equaling transition, equaling adjustment. The entire continuum is a process. And so there must be some grieving for what is lost or released. It is not simply making room for what’s next and new and vibrant. There must be an acknowledgement that we are letting go of something that holds meaning, memory and in some way, served us. Then we must trust that something good and greater awaits us on the other side of transition.

If you could let go of one thing that no longer serves you, to attract more:

  • Joy 
  •  Love
  • Purpose
  • Meaning
  • Fulfillment
  • Abundance

what would that look like? What would you like to let go of to attract more of?

Transition Partnering can help you along this process. For a consultation, call: 514.996.2414

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Living Loss

Grief is a natural adaptive response to loss. Loss is part of living. As we live, we lose people, places and things. There are many kinds of loss: identity and social roles, relationships, health and mobility, geography, lifestyle, dreams, and more. This post focuses on non-death loss.

Essentially, loss is a process:
Loss = Change = Transition = Adjustment

J. William Worden’s Four Tasks of Grief Model shows how we go through loss related to bereavement of a death. I’ve adapted this model slightly to reflect how we can approach grieving a non-death loss:
Photo courtesy or Morguefiles
  1. Accepting the reality of the loss (Loss)
  2. Working through the pain of grief/loss (Change)
  3. Adjusting to a changed environment (Transition)
  4. Emotionally relocating the loss and moving on with life (Adjustment)

During her videoconference presentation on Demystifying Grief, Dawn Cruchet, Montreal Grief Counselor, said: “One loss awakens another one.” (May 29, 2013). In other words, when we experience a loss, this brings to the fore, other sometimes unresolved losses/grief. Cruchet explained that grief never ends; the feelings just become more bittersweet as the memory moves from raw pain as we adjust to what is.

I’ve experienced this process myself: leaving a long-term relationship. I've also seen the non-death loss with my own clients--leaving job, career, marriage, home, dealing with Alzheimer-stricken family members or their own health decline, empty nest, de-cluttering, and other compelling life transitions, such as burnout and major life events that sometimes occur unexpectedly. The common denominator is change that necessitates learning through mourning a loss and that eventually leads to adjustment and growth. We find new ways of living our lives despite the loss, and sometimes because of it.

What life losses have led you to through change, transition and adjustment? What have you learned about yourself?

Empowerment coaching can help you leverage what you learn about yourself through transition to make sustainable changes in your life. Call: 514-996-2414 for a consultation.