Friday, June 21, 2013

Decisions, Decisions

Do you ever find yourself in that space where you just cannot decide? You have a decision to make, however large or small and you feel stuck. There's so much resistance, like trying to move through mud. You simply can't decide! Similar to being in a candy store and presented with a myriad of colors, shapes and tastes--they all appeal--yet you can only choose one! Sometimes making a decision feels this way. I've come to realize how perfectionism often gets in the way of deciding. Rather than deciding wrong, I don't decide at all. The problem is that perfectionism can result in losing out on opportunities.

What to do...? (But don't take too long to decide!)
  1. Ask yourself if the weight of not deciding is worth the stress you're experiencing
  2. Just let it go--decide not to decide
  3. Ask yourself "How important is it anyway?"
  4. Give yourself a deadline and decide by then--be accountable to someone else
  5. Just do it--take the action that you need to take without over-thinking or over-analyzing
  6. Realize that there are no wrong decisions; only opportunities for learning and growth
  7. Recognize that even perfection is imperfect and that we are all perfect in our imperfection (While you're deciding, say that fast ten times!)

What do you need to decide on, that if you do so right now, you will feel lighter for having made the decision? Who can hold you accountable?

Coaching can help you decide--I can help you to be accountable. Call 514-996-2414 to learn how!

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Are you stuck in your story?

We all have a story to tell--the tale that is the lens through which we view ourselves, our lives, our interactions with others and with the world around us. As a writer I love stories; they weave a colorful tapestry that creates the fabric of our lives. The thing about tapestry is that while we can view and appreciate it's vivid colors and texture, we are not part of the tapestry. And so it is with our stories.

Consider this common story: you divorce your spouse. There is a story to the divorce. In fact, there may be a whole life attached to the story. And there is certainly pain in the story. Is this the real story or does your story go back to before your spouse, perhaps to your early relationship with a parent?

Take the example of abandonment. Let's consider the reality that your parent gave you up for adoption or died when you were still a child. Certainly these are fundamental and profound losses. And as a child with a limited world view, the feelings might be anything from being unwanted and unloved, to being different. Perhaps you felt abandoned. How might your view of being abandoned by your parent, color the story of your current relationships--with your partner or others? Might a fear of being abandoned be the lens through which you view and experience your adult relationships?
As an adult you have the power of choice around this story. What positives might you acknowledge in order to move on from that part of your story anchoring you in the past? What shift in how you view your story can release you to fully live your present and not worry about your future? How was being adopted, in fact, a gain? You went to certain other parents who gave you different things, especially a home. You were wanted by someone. How did your parent's death make you stronger?

You are not your story. Stories are what we tell ourselves and others. As Chloe Madanes and Tony Robbins explain in their coaching video entitled Conscious Blaming, as we tell a story, it gets embellished and grows. Peoples' beliefs are based on their perceptions. And we behave according to our perceptions. So as our story gains momentum in the telling and retelling (even to only ourselves), if we are not challenged think differently, we risk becoming our story as we continue to behave according to our perceptions. And a story can become a fairy tale about fear. This is where we may get stuck in the weave of the tapestry and not move past our story to live a better, more fulfilling and meaningful life.

How might you be stuck in your story? What new thread can you weave into your story to shift your perception and live more meaningfully?

Working with an Empowerment Coach can help you get unstuck in your story and align with your true values. For a consultation, call: 1.514.996.2414

Friday, June 7, 2013

Letting Go of... do you need to let go of in order to attract more of…? This is a question I often ask my coaching clients. And in the wake of my last article about loss, I recognize the hugeness of this question. It asks you to accede to a loss. It may be letting go of a job that no longer fits, a relationship that no longer works or giving up possessions that clutter a living or work space.

Inherent in this question is the answer, “I fear letting go of…”  Change can be daunting because we don’t know what lies on the other side. We talked about loss equaling change, equaling transition, equaling adjustment. The entire continuum is a process. And so there must be some grieving for what is lost or released. It is not simply making room for what’s next and new and vibrant. There must be an acknowledgement that we are letting go of something that holds meaning, memory and in some way, served us. Then we must trust that something good and greater awaits us on the other side of transition.

If you could let go of one thing that no longer serves you, to attract more:

  • Joy 
  •  Love
  • Purpose
  • Meaning
  • Fulfillment
  • Abundance

what would that look like? What would you like to let go of to attract more of?

Transition Partnering can help you along this process. For a consultation, call: 514.996.2414