Wanting More for the Other

Have you ever wanted more for someone than they want for themselves? As parents, teachers, writers and even friends we might find ourselves in this trap. We see someone struggling and we rush to their aid, hoping to have some influence over how they decide or take their next step.

Often, we think we know what's best for someone and we spend our energy trying to get them to follow our advice. Sometimes less is more and we just need to take a step back, trusting that the other person knows what to do and can (and will!) do it for themselves. I take this approach with my adult learners. I try to take it with my family and friends. It doesn't mean that I don't care, just that I care enough to let them figure our their lives. It's called loving detachment and I need to remind myself daily to practice this attitude. In doing so, I put the focus where it squarely belongs: on my own life!

What (or who) do you need to step back from today?


  1. Hi Kel,
    This is so true! I usually find myself giving too much of myself (I'm a giving person) and in turn, forget that I cannot live these people's lives. They have to figure it out on their own. I can only guide them or provide good advice, the rest is up to them!

  2. Thanks for sharing, Claudia! I like that part about guiding others...and that's really all we can do. At the same time, another thing us givers sometimes forget and that is to take--the gifts others give US.

  3. I constantly need to step back from my kids! It's not easy to let go as they start getting more independent.

  4. Thank you for sharing this Laura--so true! An analogy I like to use is this: we give our child driving lessons, they get their license and we let them take the car. We don't drive with them. We must trust them to make their own good decisions based on the values we've modeled and instilled.


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