I remember catching part of an Oprah Winfey show where she talked about her resentment and anger toward someone. She told how one day from a distance she saw this person coming out of a department store in New York City, bags in hand, and laughing with a friend. Oprah then said something about here she was being angry while this person was actually living her life, having fun and had no clue!
Resentment is a poisonous pill that releases slowly. I read somewhere that resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.We harbor resentment, actively nourishing it with that negative self-talk tape we play over and over again in our heads. It festers like a boil and just poisons us while eroding the relationship. Is it no wonder we find ourselves physically ill when we carry around long-standing resentments toward someone else?
When someone does something or says something to me that I am not comfortable with, I can practice detachment. Rather than swallow the poison of resentment, I tell myself that I don't own it and that it doesn't belong to me. Rather than die inside, I give it up. In this way, I can let the other person take responsibility for something that was never mine. I am now free to go shopping and laugh with a friend or do another activity that gives me pleasure and boosts my self-esteem.