Kissing Frogs

Who couldn't help but notice the royal nuptials of William and Catherine this past weekend? It was a grand event that perhaps helped us forget about our own lives, if only for a few hours. It let some of us live vicariously as we watched the fairytale unfold around a story of love and hope, perhaps shedding a tear or two (buckets).

People get married every day (or not). Isn't every bride walking down that aisle, living her own fairytale of sorts? She has kissed her frog, made him a prince and dressed him up for the altar. For better, for worse, till death do they part (but usually not or not before they kill each other!).

What is it about weddings that makes us all soggy-eyed and emotional? Is it the splendor, the hope, the chance to live the dream that we are primed for as little girls? And why don't men grow up dreaming of getting married? Are we, as women, products of a socialization belonging to the culture of western womanhood? Or did the patriarchy invent marriage as a way to keep women busy prepping for life in the frog pond, hopping from one lily pad to the next in search of the elusive frog prince?

I think that we ultimately look to weddings as a source of inspiration, hopeful that those little tadpoles resulting from it are coming into a better place.


  1. Perhaps tears are shed during weddings and given a fairy tale glow because they are a momentary idealization of what a marriage should be and is not.

    In the past, a women 's value was that of property destined to a 'barefoot and pregnant' social status and accepting of her husband's abuses. Today's reality of equality affords both parties the opportunity of adultery and abuse towards each other.

    In a larger context, as with the 'Royal Wedding', the special day is diminished by the socially acceptable practice of 'living together' before the main event. So the wedding is hardly a new beginning, rather a contrived religious validation replete with food, drink and expensive trinkets.

    Within the inability to understand the true concept of marriage, that it stands for a new beginning of both a spiritual and physical nature, is planted the seed of it's own destruction. What follows is not about sacrifice: the giving to each other or the caring for each other. Instead it is about 'me'. I want this and you are not giving it to me. And finding it, fleetingly, though adultery, whose stigma has been weakened through one's history of premarital promiscuity.

    Modern relationships are skewed towards the physical and neglect spiritual values, the later being more rewarding and transcending the passage of time.

  2. Thank you for your thoughtful reflections on this post, Vasilios. I would agree with much of what you say, and especially the aspect about spiritual values. I would say that marriage is indeed a spiritual union founded on common values rather than simply a religious ceremony that might pay lip service to upholding those values. It will be interesting to see if William and Catherine do it differently than some of their role models.


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