Just say "thank you"

If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough. -Meister Eckhardt

We often hear the phrase "Forgive and forget." It's a tall order. We might think that if only we could forgive and forget, then perhaps we can move on and move past the hurt. In an ideal world, we could do this easily and effortlessly. But we are in a world where hurts resurface and the reminders stay fresh. So I'm proposing another way...

Don't forgive--just do nothing around forgiveness, except for forgiving yourself (see Forgiveness Starts with the Self), then, instead of forgetting, remember. Yes, remember. And finally, say "thank you." What?! Say thank you? Someone has hurt me and I must thank them??? Yes. Be grateful for what you have learned through the hurt. Thank that person either directly or indirectly for they have helped you along life's journey. We are all here to learn lessons, which are often repeated until we do.

Thank you means not resisting. Thank you means accepting that the hurt happened. Thank you means recognizing the good that comes out of the hurt. And thank you means you won't go there again. It's done, the hurt is over, the lesson is complete.

What lesson are you thankful for?


  1. I love your post! I spent so much time thinking about the "thank you" dilemma.
    The truth of the matter is that I was one of those asking myself: "Should I really thank the person who hurt me??!". I learned from it, but I don't think the person who hurt me did so because she/he wanted me to learn. What to do?
    Well, after a lot of thinking, I came out with the right solution, at least for myself: I don't think I can thank a person who deliberately or inconsiderately hurt me.
    I will, instead, thank the context. Yes! It's the context I learned from! So, let me be grateful to the context, not to the person who hurt me.

    I also have a blog. I'm a professional actor and a freelance writer from Montreal, and I pursue both passions to the same degree.
    I think you might be interested in what I write. If that is so, I'd be happy if you could become my follower, leaving comments whenever you would like to share some feedback.

    Thank you again for sharing your thoughts.

    Jay Paoloni

  2. Hello Jay! I absolutely love what you say about being grateful for the context! In sharing this, you have given more context to my blog post, and for this I am grateful. You also have me thinking about how the person who hurts us may not have learned. True...they may not have or in time they will or maybe they never will. We can even let that go because it doesn't belong to us, the way our lessons do not belong to them. I'll be happy to follow you and wish you well with your blog. Cheers, Kelly

  3. Dear Kelly,
    This post was SO inspirational with major ripple effects. I quoted you to thank a person who'd done me wrong. And by doing so, I have freed myself. I no longer feel a grudge or a heaviness in my heart. Thank you for shedding some light. I learned a valuable lesson.

  4. Hello Claudia! Thank YOU for sharing your beautiful outcome. I truly appreciate what you say: "I have freed myself." Cheers, Kelly


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