We often hear the phrase "Forgive and forget." It's a tall order. We might think that if only we could forgive and forget, then perhaps we can move on and move past the hurt. In an ideal world, we could do this easily and effortlessly. But we are in a world where hurts resurface and the reminders stay fresh. So I'm proposing another way...
Don't forgive--just do nothing around forgiveness, except for forgiving yourself (see Forgiveness Starts with the Self), then, instead of forgetting, remember. Yes, remember. And finally, say "thank you." What?! Say thank you? Someone has hurt me and I must thank them??? Yes. Be grateful for what you have learned through the hurt. Thank that person either directly or indirectly for they have helped you along life's journey. We are all here to learn lessons, which are often repeated until we do.
Thank you means not resisting. Thank you means accepting that the hurt happened. Thank you means recognizing the good that comes out of the hurt. And thank you means you won't go there again. It's done, the hurt is over, the lesson is complete.
What lesson are you thankful for?