On Enabling

Don't ask more of me than you would ask of yourself. Have you ever wanted something for someone that they didn't apparently want for themselves? Have you pulled strings for someone, only to realize they acted like they didn't want it or didn't appreciate it? Enabling or rescuing another person can be tricky. We do for another what they can do for themselves. And then we may wonder why they either don't do it for themselves or don't appreciate our efforts. We may feel drained from giving so much, and then we get angry. Finally, we become resentful.

When I feel as though I'm giving too much to someone else, I step back and view it from the perspective of "What do I need to be giving to myself at this moment?" The answer shows me that I may be enabling and perhaps more than that--using giving as a substitute for getting my own life done.

How do you know when you're over-giving?


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