I found myself feeling compassion for someone who had continuously hurt me and deeply. It was subtle. It was a slow realization of what their pain might be like, look like, feel like. It was the first time I could actually see their pain through my own.
And then it hit me: this is not about that other person. It is about me and my capacity to forgive and primarily about my capacity to forgive myself. When you can look at a hurt through the eyes of compassion, there is a release, a healing. The veil of grief lifts and you see clearly where your fingertips end and the others' begin, no longer two hands intertwined and twisting in a symbiotic gesture of chaos and pain. And then you recognize that you are whole again, ready to claim your life--the life you are meant to live.
According to Pema Chodron, "Compassion isn't some kind of self-improvement project or ideal that
we're trying to live up to. Having compassion starts and ends with
having compassion for all those unwanted parts of ourselves, all those
imperfections that we don't even want to look at." As we heal, we can look at those parts and feel compassionate for ourselves, forgiving even.
Compassion feels similar to gratitude. Practicing compassion brings
peacefulness the same way practicing gratitude brings abundance. There
is great abundance in compassion.
What does it look like to feel compassion through your pain?
Empowerment coaching can help you cultivate compassion for yourself and shift perspective about your journey. For a complimentary discovery session call: 514.996.2414